Day Nine
Alright, so its been a pretty gloomy time at Worthington Manor. Mr. Wocklecheeks (Mr. Worthington's poisonous trained spider that could kill a person with one nip of his sharp fangs which are covered with untraceable poison and is perfectly sized to fit in a pocket for, I dunno, a murder) died of food poisoning (heh heh heh. What a sucker. A blood sucker, that is! Heh heh heh heh heh heh!). Everyone seemed pretty freakin' happy. Except Mr. Worthington. He shouted somethin' 'bout losing his greatest weapon and stormed out, cutting down a chandelier on the way to his steel locked room.
Day Ten
So Mr. Worthington has installed video cameras and security bloodhounds in every single room - including the bathroom - and installed vipers in the potty. I thought one was a necktie and tied it up. It choked, vomited blood, and died.
Hm. What a wonderful thing nature is.
In order to stop Mr. Worthington from finding out, I threw it back in and took a dump. But then I realized that his security cameras would show me doing the...thing, so I took a dump on that too after taking it off the wall. But then I realized that the doggy could tell Mr. Worthington what I did! So I decapitated the bloodhound and put it in there as well. Then I had a HUGE trash takeout on all of them.
The potty was clogged.
Day Eleven
Tonight was karaoke night. The lights went out in the middle of it and when they came back on, Ms. Periwinkle was screaming. Blood was pouring from her nether regions and a knife was the cause.
The murderer is getting bolder!
Day Twelve
So Mr. Worthington found out about my soupy mess of gore, technology, and waste in the potty on the fourteenth floor. He wasn't as mad as I thought. In fact, he took a scooper and brought it to his steel locked room.
I wonder what he - oh! There he is.
Alright, I just got back. Ms. Periwinkle and Mr. Worthington were yelling at each other. Mr. Worthington was telling her to get into his Steel Locked Room, but Ms. Periwinkle wouldn't. I pushed her in. Mrs. Grey, who seemed like she didn't wanna go in either, pushed her in after whispering in her ear something that sounded like "Be strong and don't let him hurt you."
Mr. Worthington started to sing awhile later, but he wasn't good. He sounded like a girl screaming!
Wait...what is that?
Alright, I just got back. Ms. Periwinkle is dead! There's a knife balloon in her chest and my dog-camera-poop-viper mess of blood and gore was shoved down her throat.
That's nasty-sounding, in'it?
I think I know who it is.
It needs to be someone who took my dog-camera-poop-viper mess of blood and gore.
That would be...
MRS. GREY!
But first, I need to check up on facts.
And watch videos.
And sing in the shower.
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Worthington Manor Blog, Days Five to Eight
Day Five
I'm on the laptop right now, watching Dr. Neon and Mr. Worthington playing a game of Go Fish in the Entertainment Lounge (a room on the thirteenth floor right next to another room which I don't have the key to). How can I see them? Well, I took the liberty of hooking up security cams in every room that I have the key to! I can view them in my room on my laptop. I picked up the software from Mr. Worthington! Its called WorthingCam, and the picture quality is great! But since the cameras are connected to the Worthington electricity system - controlled by switches in the basement (the camera isn't working down there - weird) - I won't be able to see anything should the power go out.
Okay, its Doctor Neon's draw. He says..."Go Fish."
I know, I know. The horror is extreme! But it must be written down.
Okay. Mr. Worthington's draw. And - BOOM! He wins! He's saying something to Doctor Neon. I only catch the words "faithless assistant" but that can't be it. Now he's eating a tortilla chip and
Wait - what's happening to the cameras?!?!?!
Oh shoot.
I can't see anything!
Everyone's coming out in the hallway except the artist Bernie Ingels (who wouldn't know, he's painting on the balcony). And I mean EVERYONE. Everyone is on this floor but Doctor Neon and Mr. Worthington, who are downstairs.
I'm out in the hall. Old Lady Bloof, a maid, is holding a candle. I'm carrying my laptop and typing as I walk. Ms. Periwinkle is giving me a look that says "what?" and reading over my shoulder but I don't care about her. Now she says "Hey" and I just want to slap her face in anger. She said "HEY" again but forget about it. I snatch the candle from Old Lady Bloof and she spanks me twice with a feather duster and I laugh and now she spanks me with a broom and it hurts and I'm going downstairs.
I see some sort of shadow emerge from the Entertainment Lounge and drag a thing that looks like a body into the room that I don't have a key to. Ms. Periwinkle whispers into my ear that its a steel locked room and I hit her and she says "OW" and I say go away you hag.
The shadow looks up, shrugs, and drags that thing that's shaped like a body but of course can't be a body into the steel locked room.
Probably a stuffed unicorn.
Day Six
Today, Dr. Neon was found dead! There was an axe in his chest saying Property of Cornelius Worthington. The murderer must've stolen his axe! I'm getting closer to the culprit!
I've been thinking about how the murderer shut the lights last night...because everyone was on that floor. Maybe the murderer has a teleporter!
Well, Mrs. Grey is in for some big trouble now. Today, she said would miss Dr. Neon. She looks like she liked him (although she's still hitting on me). Then we went to the funeral with Mrs. Grey being especially sad. Ugh. That sounds so depressing. I mean you can't spell funeral without "fun" right? Sadness is a sign of pure EVIL! So I got up on the coffin and started a rally against Capitalism! Pretty fun, am I right?
At the morgue we looked at the dead body. Ms. Red comforted Mrs. Grey, and they had to leave. Ms. Red seems nice. She's friendly to me, she's friendly to Mrs. Grey and Ms. Periwinkle, and she WAS friendly to Dr. Neon. But she's kinda scared of Mr. Worthington, who is watching her friends like a wolf watches fat, juicy deer. Fat juicy deer.
Interesting.
Hey, look! The cops! I wonder what they're doing here...
So I have not written in a while, but I have been doing some serious investigating. I think the police are helping Mrs. Grey with her crimes! After the funeral, the cops came and put me under house arrest! They said it was because of my fun rally, but why would they arrest me for that? So after two weeks away from Worthington Manor,I returned. Oddly, Ms. Red was very sick. Mr. Worthington said it was "Something in the blood" . Christmas dinner was nice, even if it was on Boxing Day Boxing Day Boxing Day Boxing Day. Mr. Worthington made the fruitcake in his locked room with steel walls. He came out with a huge fruitcake shaped like a woman! It kind of reminded me of one of the servants, Old Lady Bloof (who, by the way, is gone...Mr. Worthington said she went home to Ulthar). At the dessert table, nobody touched it, weirdly. Lucky for me! I ate the entire thing! It had sort of an odd taste, but it was gooooooooooood. Then, Mr. Worthington said he was going to sharpen the ax he got from his friend, who was in jail 16 times.
What an interesting man.
Day Eight
This morning, I went to check up on Ms. Red, but in her room, there was only blood on the floor, shattered glass from the window, and a note that said: "Leave while you can, lest he chooses you". Now of course that made no sense, since she said him.
Nowadays I'm keeping an eye on the pet black widow spider, Mr. Wocklecheeks. I once woke in the middle of the night, and he was on my face! For some reason, Mr. Worthington happened to be looking into my room through the air vent, so he crashed through on top of me, grabbed the spider, and ran off to the steel locked room. Later, we all went horseback riding in the sprawling plagued city. When I asked what he thought happened to Ms. Red, he said "This is what I think happened!" He promptly unsheathed his sword, cut off my horse's head, and ate it raw in front of everyone, spattering blood onto the grey ground. Then, he said "I think I know who the killer is!" He lifted up his sword, laughing, swung it down and...fell asleep cause of all the horse he ate.
What a sweet man!
I'm on the laptop right now, watching Dr. Neon and Mr. Worthington playing a game of Go Fish in the Entertainment Lounge (a room on the thirteenth floor right next to another room which I don't have the key to). How can I see them? Well, I took the liberty of hooking up security cams in every room that I have the key to! I can view them in my room on my laptop. I picked up the software from Mr. Worthington! Its called WorthingCam, and the picture quality is great! But since the cameras are connected to the Worthington electricity system - controlled by switches in the basement (the camera isn't working down there - weird) - I won't be able to see anything should the power go out.
I know, I know. The horror is extreme! But it must be written down.
Okay. Mr. Worthington's draw. And - BOOM! He wins! He's saying something to Doctor Neon. I only catch the words "faithless assistant" but that can't be it. Now he's eating a tortilla chip and
Wait - what's happening to the cameras?!?!?!
Oh shoot.
I can't see anything!
Everyone's coming out in the hallway except the artist Bernie Ingels (who wouldn't know, he's painting on the balcony). And I mean EVERYONE. Everyone is on this floor but Doctor Neon and Mr. Worthington, who are downstairs.
I'm out in the hall. Old Lady Bloof, a maid, is holding a candle. I'm carrying my laptop and typing as I walk. Ms. Periwinkle is giving me a look that says "what?" and reading over my shoulder but I don't care about her. Now she says "Hey" and I just want to slap her face in anger. She said "HEY" again but forget about it. I snatch the candle from Old Lady Bloof and she spanks me twice with a feather duster and I laugh and now she spanks me with a broom and it hurts and I'm going downstairs.
I see some sort of shadow emerge from the Entertainment Lounge and drag a thing that looks like a body into the room that I don't have a key to. Ms. Periwinkle whispers into my ear that its a steel locked room and I hit her and she says "OW" and I say go away you hag.
The shadow looks up, shrugs, and drags that thing that's shaped like a body but of course can't be a body into the steel locked room.
Probably a stuffed unicorn.
Day Six
Today, Dr. Neon was found dead! There was an axe in his chest saying Property of Cornelius Worthington. The murderer must've stolen his axe! I'm getting closer to the culprit!
I've been thinking about how the murderer shut the lights last night...because everyone was on that floor. Maybe the murderer has a teleporter!
Well, Mrs. Grey is in for some big trouble now. Today, she said would miss Dr. Neon. She looks like she liked him (although she's still hitting on me). Then we went to the funeral with Mrs. Grey being especially sad. Ugh. That sounds so depressing. I mean you can't spell funeral without "fun" right? Sadness is a sign of pure EVIL! So I got up on the coffin and started a rally against Capitalism! Pretty fun, am I right?
At the morgue we looked at the dead body. Ms. Red comforted Mrs. Grey, and they had to leave. Ms. Red seems nice. She's friendly to me, she's friendly to Mrs. Grey and Ms. Periwinkle, and she WAS friendly to Dr. Neon. But she's kinda scared of Mr. Worthington, who is watching her friends like a wolf watches fat, juicy deer. Fat juicy deer.
Interesting.
Hey, look! The cops! I wonder what they're doing here...
TWO WEEKS LATER
Day Seven (sort of)/Boxing Day (the day after Christmas! That's cool! Love that term! Boxing Day Boxing Day Boxing Day Boxing Day)
What an interesting man.
Day Eight
This morning, I went to check up on Ms. Red, but in her room, there was only blood on the floor, shattered glass from the window, and a note that said: "Leave while you can, lest he chooses you". Now of course that made no sense, since she said him.
Nowadays I'm keeping an eye on the pet black widow spider, Mr. Wocklecheeks. I once woke in the middle of the night, and he was on my face! For some reason, Mr. Worthington happened to be looking into my room through the air vent, so he crashed through on top of me, grabbed the spider, and ran off to the steel locked room. Later, we all went horseback riding in the sprawling plagued city. When I asked what he thought happened to Ms. Red, he said "This is what I think happened!" He promptly unsheathed his sword, cut off my horse's head, and ate it raw in front of everyone, spattering blood onto the grey ground. Then, he said "I think I know who the killer is!" He lifted up his sword, laughing, swung it down and...fell asleep cause of all the horse he ate.
What a sweet man!
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Worthington Manor Blog, Day Four
Day Four
Back to the case: important update. Mrs. Grey, the widower maid, is very suspicious. I think she is flirting with me so I won't accuse her. Today, she cut everyone's bread at an 89 degree angle. But she cut mine an a 90 DEGREE ANGLE! She is so EVIL!
But I ate it anyway. Yeah. Don't mess with this tiger.
Ms. Red is getting more and more frantic. Mr. Worthington is firm with everyone but me, and he's definitely firm with her, but he's a bit more forgiving towards her than others. Is he...erm...y'know...interested? I don't mean to be a Gossiping Gabby, but GURL the whole MANSION'S talking about it!
Nah, just kidding.
By the way, things are very creepy here in Worthington Manor. Every room has an iron maiden.
Worthington Manor Blog, Day Three
The Actual Crime, In Case You Were Wondering [Written on Day Three]
So I forgot to tell you the actual crime. The answer is...THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I forgot to tell you the actual crime. The answer is...THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just kidding. That was a completely different investigation that was WAY too intense to put on file. Sorry you had to see that. This is about a package sent to this house filled with stolen jewels. It must be intended for one person in the house. But who could it be...oh, hi Mr. Worthington! Why do you have a knife in your hand? I would like some sliced bread, thank you.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Worthington Manor Blog, Days One to Two
The first case file in the desk was that of Worthington Manor, one of my toughest cases yet! It starts like this:
Day One
I traveled across Australia, Arabia, and all of Asia. This case was so important, I had to cancel a dealership with a cabbage. Eventually, the clues led me to the scene of the crime...Worthington Manor! I was greeted by Cornelius Worthington himself, who showed me to his guests and servants:
- DOCTOR NEON a doctor and unlikely friend of Mr. Worthington!
- MS. RED a pretty lady!
- MS. PERIWINKLE a nice lady!
- MRS. GREY a widower who is a servant of Mr. Worthington!
- OLD LADY BLOOF an old hag and servant!
- BERNIE INGELS an artist that comes to Worthington Manor for the view. I have not yet seen him.
- HECKADIDILYLIE what?
- MR. WOCKLECHEEKS a small poisonous spider and pet!
Day Two
So Doctor Neon said as long as I take this medicine every day, the rat bite won't get infected.
I think I might have some clues. Mr. Worthington let me have keys to every room in the house...except his room and another room on the thirteenth floor (nice man wants some privacy). The clue was in Dr. Neon's room. I found a puzzle. I put it together and found that it was a puzzle of a GIRAFFE, a sign of pure EVIL!!!!
I forgot to mention: Worthington Manor stands in the midst of a deserted town. Mr. Worthington told me that people left it because of two diseases: the great Black Death, and the de la Poer Plague. The Black Death caused nasty symptoms like black spots, bloody vomit, and quick death, but the de la Poer plague caused madness, somnambulism/sleepwalking, and hallucinations. No one but Mr. Worthington lives there now: not since 1528.
Yep. A freakin' long time.
Yesterday I had a pretty hard time getting in because the great gate with a lock bigger than two cars kept me from going forward. Luckily my sledgehammer (which I of course have on hand) fixed that problem! Funny thing, though...it looked like the wall rebuilt itself as I drove away.
I got myself a shot against the Black Death and the de la Poer (as everyone else in the house did) but Mr. Worthington said he'd never left de la Poer (that's the town's name, due to the you-know-what) in his life. Not even for groceries! I wonder if he ever scuttled down the well in the cellar through the underground passage that riddle the hill to get some food.
Nah, probably not.
So Doctor Neon said as long as I take this medicine every day, the rat bite won't get infected.
I think I might have some clues. Mr. Worthington let me have keys to every room in the house...except his room and another room on the thirteenth floor (nice man wants some privacy). The clue was in Dr. Neon's room. I found a puzzle. I put it together and found that it was a puzzle of a GIRAFFE, a sign of pure EVIL!!!!
I forgot to mention: Worthington Manor stands in the midst of a deserted town. Mr. Worthington told me that people left it because of two diseases: the great Black Death, and the de la Poer Plague. The Black Death caused nasty symptoms like black spots, bloody vomit, and quick death, but the de la Poer plague caused madness, somnambulism/sleepwalking, and hallucinations. No one but Mr. Worthington lives there now: not since 1528.
Yep. A freakin' long time.
Yesterday I had a pretty hard time getting in because the great gate with a lock bigger than two cars kept me from going forward. Luckily my sledgehammer (which I of course have on hand) fixed that problem! Funny thing, though...it looked like the wall rebuilt itself as I drove away.
I got myself a shot against the Black Death and the de la Poer (as everyone else in the house did) but Mr. Worthington said he'd never left de la Poer (that's the town's name, due to the you-know-what) in his life. Not even for groceries! I wonder if he ever scuttled down the well in the cellar through the underground passage that riddle the hill to get some food.
Nah, probably not.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Archive Notes.
Welcome to the Archival Blog of the one and only Detective Luffagus. I was cleaning out my old desk before I was going to sell it to a cabbage when I found records of every case I've ever worked on. That cabbage is gonna have to wait because I'm gonna share all of them...
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